disappointed yet again

my friendster horoscope today says, "Transitioning into a new phase has been hard. You need to give yourself more time."

anyhoo.

i feel like i have just been robbed. very unfair.

last week, i saw an ad for a core skills trainer post in sykes asia. i applied and got an email saying i should print out that email and "walk-in." nadismaya ako dahil ano pa't nag-apply ako online. i took no action.

heyniweys, i found out last friday that my status for that particular application then said, "Under Consideration" and that meant i had bigger chances of getting hired. nabuhayan ako! my gosh! i could be the next trainer they're looking for! the weekend seemed like an eternity and i barely survived waiting for today, monday, to "walk-in."

i was at the recruitment office very early with all the stuff i deemed i needed for the application, except THAT printed email as we have no ink at home and i didn't see any computer shops along the way to OSMA.

interview time finally came and it was with 3 other hopefuls vying for agent posts. 3 guys and 1 girl. and the girl turned out to be my high school classmate's older sister. i must say, without cockiness whatsoever, the girl and i were very articulate and i think, very qualified for the positions we were applying for.

the interview went very well and i was expecting to be endorsed to the next level, as rose ann the interviewer told us that the purpose of the initial interview would be to assess our comm skills. besides, i was able to give her everything she had asked for. one by one, we were called outside for the result of the initial interview. rose ann said, "you already passed the test but for the position you are applying for, we are looking for somebody with experience in the field. but i'll keep your application anyway and let you know if something for operations support comes up."

i think i was caught in shock that i said nothing but "okay. thank you." and just left.

parang napahiya ako and i was very dismayed. rich (the girl applicant) caught up with me downstairs and asked how it went with rose ann. i told her up front that they were looking for somebody with experience. i walked with her to the mrt and i was glad to have talked to her. i found her to be very, very pleasant.

after spending time thinking, i realized that what just happened was crap. first of all, she (rose ann) did not know that somebody from the recruitment team checked my CV in jobstreet.com THRICE [meaning i struck a chord with the recruitment peeps manning the jobstreet.com list] and put my status on Under Consideration. next, she told me that they were looking for somebody with experience. hello?! did she really listen to what i had said during the interview? what about years of teaching different choirs, of holding key positions and heading the literary arts department of my beloved org in my university (and this means teaching your members), etc.?! third, what happened to "the purpose of this initial interview is to assess your communication skills?"

denying me of the chance to proceed to the next level is very meaningless. i do not mean to be condescending nor arrogant. but i KNOW, as all of my trainers know, as my former supervisors believe, that i can do it. my trainers were mere agents before becoming trainers. why can't i be given the chance? why was i not given the chance?

and so, plan C is here. come may 2, i will call them up.

i have faced rejection very well. but this time, it's unacceptable. buti sana kung walang laban. meron eh.

i just want to work! masama ba 'yon? or maybe i really ought to just stay put... for now.

--------------
got to spend the rest of the day with hubby. i just needed to be near him. we got to watch pan's labyrinth (www.panslabyrinth.com // cool soundtrack! turn your speakers up!). it was grrreat! how i loved the different themes i've identified. i cannot say anything more about this movie. it's for me to cherish. :)

family family

i saw doc ivan's site and i'm glad to know he's doing okay. he says he has, well, new "practically everything." i miss being with that guy. i mean, his smile really is something else. i told him before that whenever i got around him, i tried to always be at my best, trying to impress him. ewan ko kung bakit. i just look up to him, methinks. he's really different. :)

anyway, i got to spend quality time with the marcelino's once again. cool lot. they're family, indeed. got to see paseo de santa rosa. pretty much like the metrowalk of the south.

speaking of family, i'm really beginning to hate (on a serious level) my siblings' guts. the way they think, they talk, they act. very uncomforting. sometimes i think like, "are they really family?" i'm not being righteous. it's just how things seem to be and really are. i've always strove hard for the things that i needed, the things that i wanted. i made things happen for myself. but they, who are supposed to know better, are simply--blah. naiinis ako.

this is not a matter of materialism or whatever. it's a matter of having your own good set of principles. and values. and being able to become the best you that you can be.

i will not give details now, or maybe ever, as i deem doing the opposite will obtain various unsolicited remarks from you, dear readers (yeah right! as if this blog has any), although i appreciate your input.

for now, i urge you to fervently pray for me as i am currently facing a dilemma: to work or not to work. anyhow, i hope i do well in tomorrow's "walk-in/hindi walk-in" at sykes asia. i wanna become a trainer there. :) i miss sykes.

I hope I get it :D

No updates yet about my MIS post in Transworks, apparently one of India's top 3 BPO's.

I didn't get the trainer's position in eTel's new Shaw site but that's okay. They're not ready for me yet. Haha! Besides, schedule will be a big problem once review starts.

Just found out I am under consideration for Sykes! Goodness. I am super excited! I hope they still can accommodate me. It's gonna be hard to wait for Monday. But come Monday, I will be there as early as 9AM. And I will be bringing everything I need, including the demo I made.

Grabedad! So anxious!

desperate. frustrated. bored to death.

yes, i am desperate. in fact, i have never been this desperate. really. all i'm trying to do is look for a cool interim job. oh well. anyway.

very frustrated because i see alot of jobs in jobstreet.com that i really, REALLY like and yet, i cannot apply for them just yet. i still need to get my license under my belt before i can apply for whatever job i want. i guess my folks won't care by then. but mind you, the jobs that i REALLY, REALLY (okay, i cannot stress it enough) like are way out of my field. :) but they're jobs that i think--no, i KNOW i am good at.

heyniweys.

sa susunod na kabanata.

going crazy

i got to watch dreamgirls tonight at louise's party. it was damn good. a classic movie in the coming future. jennifer hudson totally deserved that oscar award. the story was good, the pacing was perfect. i really thought i'd get disappointed watching that movie. good thing i stuck around after eating louise's handa. hahaha!

and so i just logged on my jobstreet.com account. kinda down at the moment, a couple of jobs i've applied for says: unsuccessful.

ouch. that hurts. only a bit. but it sure does.

maybe i really ought to just enjoy the rest of the bumming days. i'm really hoping i can get a cool interim job. a job with no commitments. freelance. i hope my editors give me lots of writing assignments. that'll be cool. :(

it's awfully hard to bum and laze around the house. i have so many needs. i have so many wants. i have so many dreams.

fontana april 2007

@$#@$%#^%$*%^&@#&%

i just got home. soaked. came from a couple of interviews and then went to ailm for a choral concert. when i got there, i found out that the show got cancelled. and then it rained. hard. and i dint bring my umbrella.

had to take a cab. got stuck in heavy traffic. flat broke once again.

top that.

thanksgiving

had a fun day yesterday. it was easter sunday and we had a thanksgiving party right after the mass. yes, at long last, my siblings and i have all graduated. but there's more to party for: eldest kuya recently got promoted, 2nd kuya is getting married and is currently a resident at PGH, evil twin is teaching and i just graduated.

kuya spent alot of money for the party. :) doc tak bought chicken and a BIG cake. we made and framed 2 certificates of appreciation for mom and dad.

played mahjong with relatives and i must say, i won! :) it's been a super long time since i played it last.

: _ )

walking with tor.
i felt safe.
walking with you.
i know i'm home.
i feel safer.

walking with them made me feel proud.
because i was with "them."
with you, i am proud
because i am walking with you.
and because you are you.

non-existent

and for now i belong to the unemployed group. i'm looking for a cool and challenging interim job. getting something very out of my field is fine by me.

as a kid, i thought that grown-ups get mail as status quo. funny because up to now, i still do. haha! well, as soon as i start working, i will be one among those who get mail! applications for different stuff, bills, etc. haha! up to date, i have only received letters from school (list of grades with, er, a few red marks), a couple of birthday cards, and a chain letter! fucker! :) hahaha!

my goodness! wala pa rin ako writing assignments from my editors! :(

we got by yesterday. thanks to the joined efforts of our choir and el shaddai's.

anxious

i am anxious. even after a good sleep, i feel stressed and tired. i dream about horrid things. simple horrid things :( i am anxious. about lots of stuff. about making so many utangs to get me started. about getting an interim job. about the review. about the upcoming board exams. about the wedding, even if it is not mine. about things i want to do while i have the time, but i don't have the means yet. i want everything to work out. and then during my very rare lucid times, i tell myself, "hey, why stress yourself with so much? you have nothing to lose. so just sit back and let things course thru by themselves."

anyhoo, i have made an account in jobstreet.com. dami jobs. found one sa Unilever. imagine, i could work pala sa company na 'yun. i grew up with everything unilever around me. dad used to work there for the longest time. but now he is into distribution. anyway, the company's a big CHUNK of our life as a family. :)

another option for a makeshift job is this english online instructor post in edunara, inc. i guess this is okay :) let's see what happens to my application. this could be a great stepping stone for my plans to become a trainer. really got inspired by my trainers in sykes a couple of years back.

AOM in a call center isn't bad at all. i found one ad which accommodates my credentials. i hope i get this one.

a trainee engineer spot from belhasa trading for dubai/ncr is good as well. after a year of training, you get promoted to junior engineer. i have an interview for the job by next week.

will be going to zambo in may. this easter sunday, the roldan boys will be having a thanksgiving party as we have all graduated :)